DAY 1 – May 21, 1997 185 Pounds
Well, I have decided to have a couple of days of my fruit,
fruit juice, and protein powder and colon conditioner beverage to help ease my
transition.
DAY 2
Will I follow through tomorrow on
the water-only fast?
DAY 3
Water tastes good. A friend came by
the house to watch some movies and actually brought vegetarian Mexican food for
him and his wife to enjoy during the movies. I can't believe he would bring the
food knowing I am starting this fast. Perhaps the temptation is good.
I drank a lot of juice tonight and
found myself having 5 tablespoons of hummus and sticking my finger into the jar
of strawberry preserves a few times. I rationalized that the hummus and
strawberry preserve is almost liquid – right? Ha-ha, Ha-ha. What games we
play on ourselves to rationalize doing what we strongly desire to do. At least
the juice was heavily fortified with colon conditioner to help scrub the hummus
and preserve out of my body.
DAY 4
Meditated for 40 minutes – felt
good. My tongue is beginning to noticeably develop a white velvety coating. The
tongue is one of the body's main organs of toxic elimination during a fast. On
a prolonged fast, they say it takes about 25 days for your tongue to become
clear and pink. This is a sign that the body has detoxified most of what it had
to deal with. I have never went on a 25 day fast before, so I don't know. But
on my last 15 day fast, I did notice my tongue starting to clear from the sides
in towards the middle. This fast is supposed to be longer than 25 days, so we
will see what happens.
Well, today has been just water and
colon conditioner. I also had about one-cup of coffee also to see what it would
do to my alertness. Coffee has to go - starting tomorrow. Starting tomorrow
– I will be pure in my fast. My dear friend is coming by the house again
tonight. This time to watch Babylon 5 and a movie or two on my 60' television
with surround sound. I may be getting rid of the TV in a few days so we want to
get as much enjoyment out of it as possible. Once the TV goes, it will be
missed. It was nice to have experienced it at least once. I wonder if he will
be bringing food again. Even if he does, I will not have juice as a
crutch.
He not only brought food, I was in
his truck waiting for him to come out of a restaurant with food to go for him
and his wife to eat at my house while watching the movies.
Wow…..Temptations.
On the way home with the food, I was
actually holding the bag smelling the food, I took deep inhalations of the
molecular emanations of the hot food. It smelled delicious.
During the movie, I had one-half
tablespoon of the sauce from one of the different foodstuffs he brought. I also
had a teaspoon of soy sauce (wow, was it ever salty). It was good, but not
worth enough for me to break my fast. I figure that if I can take a one-half
tablespoon taste and not break my fast – then the whole process was a good
exercise in the fasting journey. I don't really miss it, even now some hours
later. This is good.
I almost had sex a few minutes ago
– but it is not conducive to the fast – it is only an escape and it
debilitates your physical and psychic energy during the fast.
I am going to do a different type of
meditation in bed before sleeping. See ya later…..
DAY 5
I have slept for about 14 hours. I
don't want to get up. The thought of getting up without the prospect of food
for energy and oral pleasure is not inspiring. However, this fasting experience
is for spirit, so- I'm up. I have so much work to do. I am not supposed to
work. I am told to relax, meditate and contemplate. Most other people who go
through a long fasting experience will have to continue living their daily life
interacting with the rest of the world doing work – I shall also.
It is time to go to sleep again. I
did great today. Except a few minutes ago. I told myself that I could have just
a one-half tablespoon of ice cream. After all, it is liquid. Well, one lick led
to another and I was like a ravenous animal. I ended up eating about 6 heaping
tablespoons of various flavors of ice cream. I must say it was absolutely
delicious. However, it was not the way to do a fast. Now my stomach feels
funny. I actually preferred the way it felt before the ice cream. I just drank
a lot of water mixed with colon conditioner. I refuse to feel guilty since it
was my choice to eat the ice cream. My desire for spiritual growth through this
fast is pure enough that I will succeed. Tomorrow is another day – now is
a new beginning. I can never say that I don't understand what other seekers go
through in following through with a strict water fast. I think the most
tempting attraction eating the ice cream is the fact that after this fast, for
at least one year, I am going to be completely vegan. I will not eat any animal
products of any kind. This means no dairy, no ice cream and no pizza. To some
people, no ice cream and no pizza (with cheese) is hell on earth. We will
see.
Another reason for the strong
temptation is just the fact that I expect to not eat for at least 40 days. The
thought itself is enough to get almost any one to eat as much of anything
possible before the final bite of food.
Play take-away with anything and you
increase the urge to have more and more of it. This is a natural feeling.
Deprivation when we have not been used to depriving ourselves takes a lot of
desire for growth.
It is about two hours since I
backslid into the ice cream. My head feels like a headache is coming. My head
feels congested. My stomach is arguing. I belch up a nasty taste. So much for a
moments pleasure in fast-breaking.
DAY 6
I got awoken after less than 6 hours
sleep. What will this day bring?
It is 12 hours later, at night. I
have done some work today. There is still so much to do. Meditated and did some
spiritual reading also.
I feel very adamant about not
wanting any more rationalized taste treats during this fast.
I have a very bad headache. It has
been building very slowly over the last few hours. I have taken some headache
pills to help. I would rather not take any pills, but I will allow myself this
headache pill crutch for the moment.
DAY 7
Well, I stayed in bed for 16 hours.
I did not have the initiative to get up. If I had to go to a client, I would
have got out of bed.
I took longer to get going today,
but, now it is 5:30 the next morning. I have been up for 13 hours doing work.
My body is aching, but my mind is very alert – ready to continue work. I
must lay down for a while. Rest is important. Work will still be there later
today. It is now the morning of the 8th day. I stuck my nose in a mustard jar
last night and took about twenty deep inhalations. It smelled fantastic, but I
had no problem closing the lid without physically tasting any. It seems that
the deep inhalations satisfy the brain somewhat in that it seems to think I had
some good flavor. After all, most of our taste is through the nose, not in our
mouth. I followed up the deep inhalations with a lot of water and it seems like
I am not deprived of the pleasure of food. A few good inhalations and a lot of
water will do wonders sometimes.
DAY 8 and 9 (1 AM after midnight of
day 9)
Well, I slept for about 6 hours.
Made it through the time pretty good. I say this is day 8 and 9 because after I
got up yesterday (day 8) after 6 hours sleep, I stayed up all night, took a
shower in the morning of day 9, went to see some clients, and literally kept
going all day and through the evening of day 9. It is now after midnight of day
9 and I still have so much energy that I find it hard to believe. It is like
the body finds energy that you couldn't even buy for good money when you are
not fasting. I wonder how I will feel tomorrow. I really don't even want to go
to bed now, even after being up for over 31 hours. I really should try to
sleep, I am sure my body would appreciate it.
I am not really hungry, haven't been
since day 5. There is a certain feeling in my stomach that I never have when I
am eating, but it is not hunger. Food doesn't really interest me very much. The
purpose of this fast is of such great importance that the purpose will empower
me to continue on to whatever I am to experience.
I haven't meditated for about 48
hours and I feel bad about this, but I shall get back with it.
DAY 10 - 7 PM
I am just getting up from a 16-hour
sleep. Praise God I have the opportunity to sleep like this
occasionally.
Dreams are a mirror of the soul that
we are. During this sleep I had incredible dreams. Some of a spiritual nature
that gives me knowledge and answers in story form that is needed for my
spiritual growth. These, of course, I cannot put here in this journal. One,
because they are subjective, only relevant to my growth and me. Two, because
they had to be shown in a story form, a story that I was an involved
participant, I was an integral part of the dream story. They cannot be told in
written, sentence structure. They were too full of various dynamics. Many
things were sometimes happening all around me at one time. What can be told are
the lessons I distill from the dreams. These lessons will be part of what I
speak and write about in my spiritual discussions and writings.
Another part of my dream I can share
on paper. It is most incredible. I notice this happening in my dreams only the
more I get into long fasts. During the dream I find myself in a situation where
there is much good food. Perhaps I am a huge cafeteria; a huge wedding
ceremony; a huge banquet. I mean huge – feeding hundreds of people. If I
leave the main dining area, the rooms I come into are the kitchen or the main
preparation area. In other words, no matter what room I go into, I am
confronted with food of incredible sight and smell. During this dream I am very
aware that I am fasting. I even keep reminding myself of the fact that I am
fasting. However, eventually during the dream, I take a sip or a nibble of
something. This sip or nibble leads to another sip or nibble. During this time
in my dream, I am fighting with myself about the fact that this constitutes
breaking my fast. I rationalize that a sip is no big thing. Eventually, I am
eating whatever I can get my hands on. All the food I am eating is very real. I
feel substance and taste incredible flavors. All this time I am looking around
me to see if anyone is catching me breaking my fast; I am very cognizant of my
fasting situation. At this point during the dream, I am full of food. I wake up
thinking I have broke my fast and might as well continue eating. Then I realize
it was a dream and feel relieved.
During this last dream, I was even
aware of the amount of days I have been fasting. When I finished stuffing
myself, I asked myself does this mean that I am now back at day one if I
continue the fast, or am I on day 10 with one day of eating.
One reason I love to dream during a
fast is because I have the opportunity to eat at banquets made for
kings.
The spiritual lessons come through
my thoughts during my temptation process during the dreams and my reflection
upon the dream after I awake.
Bon Appetite.
1:00 AM
I had a great meditation a few hours
ago. Saw some great educational programs on TV. Spoke with my mother and a few
other people on the telephone. Now I cannot stay in bed any longer. My body is
now aching from being in bed for almost 24 hours. I am going to get up to take
a shower and do some computer and paper work. I feel a little weak.
I have decided to put the time of
each of these observations in this journal as I write it. This will help to
keep a sense of the flow of time in this fast. I consider day 1 to start after
I wake up the first time since I last ate. For example, if I last ate at 3 AM
and went to bed for 10 hours, waking up at 1 PM, day one would start at 1 PM
and with the sunrise and complete at 1 PM the following day. Technically,
fasting is the absence of any food. However, I don't consider eating a big meal
and then sleeping for ten hours a fast. Therefore I consider the fast to start
after I awake after my last meal. If I started the fast at 1 PM, then at the
following 1:00 AM, I am not into the second day, I am still into the first day.
I would probably consider the following sunrise to be the beginning of my
second day. On a long fast the few hours difference between 1 AM and sunrise
does not make much of a difference. On a short fast of say three days, then
these few hours would make a big difference.
2:15 AM
I am going to bed again. I feel
weak.
DAY 11 7:30 AM 170 Pounds
I am getting up to go into NYC for
some errands. I feel okay. I have a couple of slightly painful bumps on the
roof of my mouth. This is part of the detoxifying process. They should go away
in a few days. Amazingly, I haven't had any headaches since a week ago.
12 NOON
I am going back to bed.
8:30 PM
I am out of bed. I feel a little
weak. Perhaps with a shower and some meditation I will get some energy to do
some work.
I am drinking about a gallon of
distilled water daily. It taste delicious.
10:30 PM
I meditated for an hour then slept
for an hour.
1:00 AM
I watched a little TV, did a little
work. Now, I might sleep some more.
DAY 12 – 9:00 am
Well, I did not sleep. I felt a knot
in my stomach for about 5 hours. I watched some TV and then got up and ran some
errands. Now I am going out to do one more errand. It is at a bakery/cafe that
a friend owns and it will be interesting to be around all that food that I can
have as much of without even asking, without even paying. The smells will be
interesting.
The knot in my stomach has subsided
some. I feel better than earlier.
11:00 AM
Well, I just returned from the
bakery/cafe that my friend owns. It was an incredible experience. I walked into
the area where the baking was going on and the smells were unbelievable. I
walked around the front retail area and looked at the 100 different kinds of
cakes and cookies. It was breakfast time, a very busy time on Sunday so the
smells were all around me. I went into their walk-in refrigerator in the
basement and surveyed all the hundreds of things that no one would see if I
took a nibble. After about 10 minutes in the bakery and retail area I actually
felt like I was on a drug. I was so high from the smells. I felt like I was in
paradise. I stayed for about an hour. I did not have even a lick of food. I
left feeling very empowered. If I live through this fast, I shall definitely
return there.
I napped on and off through the
day.
9:30 PM
I am going to do some more work and
make some important phone calls.
DAY 13 - 9:00 AM
I have done enough work. I am going
to sleep for a while.
4:00 PM
I got up around 11:30 AM, meditated
for 45 minutes, then decided to go back to sleep. I will now see what work I
can accomplish. I have phone calls to make and paperwork to sort through. I
might have a big computer job later this week, I have to talk with the
client.
DAY 14 – 5:30 AM
I have done enough work for a while.
I am going to go to sleep. I expect to be getting a lot of phone calls later
today and will be woken up numerous times as usual. Since I work out of my home
- this is what I have to expect. It is a lot better than having to go to an
office every day during this long fast. Thank god I have this opportunity. It
is sometimes getting more difficult to go up two flights of stairs. Sometimes,
but not all the time.
I don't understand why I have felt
very debilitated the last few days. My last 15 day fast, I had enormous energy
to do work, and hardly ever wanted to go to bed once I woke up. It took about
30-60 minutes longer to really wake up but once I was up, I had a clear mind
and kept busy.
Perhaps I need a colonic to clean
out my lower bowel. A colonic is like an enema but much more intensive and
deeply penetrating into the lower colon. It really cleans out the toxic
material that has not been eliminated during a long fast when the bowels
practically shut down since there is no new food to help the old food along.
Since I have not had an evacuation for over a week, the toxins must really be
building up down there. Oh, well, let's see how I feel later.
3:00 PM
I feel a little better. I might do
the colonic tomorrow.
DAY 15 – 6 AM
Wow, now I feel just like I thought
I should feel. I have been more productive since I got up than I have almost
this entire fast. I have no problem going up the two flights of stairs as many
times as I need to. I don't want to go to sleep. My mind is super clear. There
must have been a detoxifying process going on the last few days that sapped my
energy. Now - I FEEL GREAT!
I suppose I should lie down for a
while. The body could probably use some rest from all the work I have
accomplished this waking period.
I will still do the colonic in a day
or two. I am sure it is needed. In the past fasts, after the colonic, I felt
pounds lighter and my mind seemed clearer.
I REPEAT – I FEEL INCREDIBLE. I
haven't even had a headache since day five when I had the six heaping
tablespoons of ice cream.
4:30 PM
I don't want to get up yet but I
must. I have to get up tomorrow morning about 7 AM and go into Manhattan for a
long day of work. I must get to bed early tonight so as to be as rested and
have as much energy as possible tomorrow.
My mouth has the funniest taste in
it. I have had this taste for a few days now, but not as intense as today. Not
the usual morning wake-up taste. An icky taste. Must be full of toxins. After
all, the tongue is one of the body's main organs of toxic elimination. As I
said before, the coating of the tongue on a fast is a sign of the
detoxification process. I am going to brush my mouth, teeth and tongue and see
if it helps.
Well, I just brushed and my mouth
definitely feels cleaner, the taste is largely diminished and the toothpaste
tastes delicious. Daily brushing of the teeth, gums, tongue and roof of your
mouth is recommended.
When I woke up a little while ago, I
really just wanted to go back to sleep. However, I lay in bed for about 30-30
minutes, got up and washed my face, brushed, and now as I am typing this, I am
starting to feel alert, energized and ready to do some work. It just takes a
little longer to get the energy moving through your body during a prolonged
fast - but it is there and available.
7:00 PM
I just took a blood sugar level
test. One that diabetics use to keep track of how much insulin they need. I
tested a 71. Below 60 would be considered the beginning of low blood sugar.
This means that after 16 days of a water-fast that I don't have low blood sugar
levels. This is incredible. I am sure that most of our learned doctors would
tell me that this is almost impossible, especially since I am still doing work.
I even just moved some furniture around in the living room about an hour ago. I
feel fortified and empowered by this result.
My mouth feels like it has cotton in
it again. The taste I had when I woke up is not as pronounced. The good
brushing was what is needed every day. The cotton feeling and funny taste is
normal during detoxification.
12:40 AM
I am going to bed now. I have to get
up around 7 AM. I have been very busy. I just took my blood sugar again and it
was only 43. This is low. I am assuming it is because I have done a lot of
work. I must check it again after I had had a chance to rest. I still feel
good.
DAY 16 - 7:30 AM
I had so much energy lazy night that
I couldn't fall asleep until about 3:30 AM. I woke up at 6:30 AM. Three hours
sleep. I feel alert. Now my day begins. I have to go into Manhattan and a few
other errands. I probably won't have much trouble falling asleep tonight. I
feel a little week like I could use some more rest. We will see what the day
has in store.
11:00 PM
Well, it is now over 15 hours since
I got up this morning. I was out running around until around 4 PM and have been
doing paperwork and phone calls since then. I am calling it quits for today. I
think I have done enough for day 17 of the fast. The energy levels that I
remember from my last 15 day fast have returned. This is very encouraging. I
wonder what tomorrow will bring.
DAY 17 – 7 AM
Unbelievable - I fell asleep about
12:30 AM this morning and I have been awake since 6:30 AM. I am not tired. I am
going to get up and get back into work. Perhaps I can accomplish a lot again
today. There is no telling when my energy level will drop again and I will feel
debilitated. This energy level reminds me of the latter part of my last 15-day
fast. It is great.
9:30 PM
Well, I have been working all day
having been up for over 14 hours. I am going to go to bed and read and relax
now. Tomorrow is another day. Of course, I know that tomorrow is promised to no
one, but I shall take it as it comes.
I feel good – but
tired…..
DAY 18 – 4:00 PM
I almost got up hours earlier, but I
did not feel as good as I wanted to and so thought that some more sleep would
help. After all, it is Saturday, the day a lot of people rest almost as much as
Sunday. After all, the last few days, I have been getting up very early and
working for 12 to 15 hours a day. And this is without eating.
DAY – 19, SUNDAY - 6:30
AM
I think I might go lie down for a
while. I feel good, but I don't want to push it.
4:30 PM
I work up about 11:30 AM. I finally
did my colonic. I was getting very concerned about toxic buildup in my colon. I
should have done the colonic a week ago, but I searched and searched and could
not find my colonic equipment. The last few days, I have had gas and
flatulence. This is a sign of something fermenting inside my colon. This
morning I started to feel very desperate and concerned that I would hurt my
body unless I had a colonic VERY SOON. As I went into meditation this morning,
I said during the meditation I wanted to be shown where the equipment was
located. Within five minutes of meditating, I all of a sudden got a flash
picture in my mind showing me where it was located. It was amazing. I was so
excited that I wanted to stop the meditation and see if my vision was right. I
resisted this impulse and after the meditation was finished I went to the place
that I saw it in my vision. I thought I would have to look for the container
that it was shown to me to be in. However, as soon as I was halfway down the
basement steps, there it was right in front of. I had looked in the area many
times but never saw it
I did the colonic and I was amazed
and gratified to see all the stuff that came out of me. It was at least a
half-gallon of stuff that should not stay in me during a fast.
I feel so much better now, both
psychologically and physically. The way I found the equipment and the way I
feel now is inspiring me to continue on this spiritual fast.
DAY 20, MONDAY - 10 PM
I slept for about 11 hours today,
from about 5:00 AM to about 4:00 PM. I am now going to lie back down and sleep
until tomorrow morning. After my colonic yesterday, I had a very busy day and
need the extra rest.
DAY 21, TUESDAY - 6:30 AM
I just got out of bed and have a lot
to do today. I feel pretty good.
I have had a long day, it is 10:00
PM and I have worked in the home-office for about 7 hours and then went out to
do things for another 5 hours. I am going to sleep.
DAY 22, WEDNESDAY - 3:30 PM
I got up this morning about 8:00 AM
and meditated. I have been working since then. I feel pretty good.
12:00 MIDNIGHT
It is now midnight. I have been up and working a long time. I think I am going
to bed. Other than exhausted from over 13 hours of work, I feel fine.
DAY 25, SATURDAY - 11:45 PM
Well, it seems like I have not
entered anything in this journal for three days. I have been very busy at times
and at other times, I felt somewhat drained.
I have done a lot of work today. I have a lot of more work yet to do. I want to
get all my business work as caught up as possible so the last two weeks of my
fast can be spent entirely in spiritual areas. I want to do some restructuring
of my AMSWAY site
12:54 AM
Today I had a most beautiful
experience. I wish I could give someone the picture and experience I had so
that I would feel that they saw what I saw.
I was relaxing in bed and
contemplating God and other things in my life when all of a sudden I had a
vision. No, it was more than a vision. It was an incredibly real experience.
Have you ever been to one of the newer outer space movies? You know how outer
space looks so crystal clear as if you are floating through space with the
stars and planets shining brightly and crystal clear?
Well, I found myself floating
through space with no spaceship and is seemed like I had no physical body. I
was taking in the breathtaking view of all the stars and planets. I felt my eye
muscles start to focus on what I was seeing. This attempt to physically focus
made the experiential vision vanish. I relaxed my focusing attempt and the
vision returned. Then I couldn't stop myself from trying to focus and the
vision went away again. This happened once more. When I would try to focus, the
vision would disappear and my attempts to duplicate it were met with only a
cloudy mass of nothing.
I am now going to bed. Good
night.
DAY 26, SUNDAY - 11:45 PM
This is one of my weakest days on
the whole fast. I now realize that the last couple of weeks of my fast are
going to need more rest than I anticipated. However, this should not surprise
me. It is only logical that after 26 days on a fast that the body's energy
levels are going to be somewhat depleted. Thank God I have this opportunity to
have the time to rest and move around at largely my own discretion.
DAY 27, MONDAY - 11:30 PM
Did some paperwork. I just received
a call from a computer friend of mine. Tomorrow is the first day of the PC
Expo, the second largest computer show in the country. It is at the Jacob
Javits Convention here in NYC. There are four other geeks that want me to go
with them, so I said yes. This means that I have to get up tomorrow morning
about 7 AM and only get about 5 hours of sleep. Oh, well, if I get an early
enough start then I won't have to go back the next day.
DAY 28, TUESDAY - 11:00 PM
What a day. The PC Expo took over
the whole convention center. It is one humongous convention center. I checked
out every nook and cranny of the show. By 4:15 PM, I was physically hurting. I
walked probably 3 miles through the center, up and down row after row of new
technology exhibits. All the while carrying a big shoulder bag to put things I
wanted to take with me and a gallon of distilled water for my lunch. I didn't
even wait the extra hour until the show closed for the day. I didn't want to be
a party-pooper with my friends. They wanted to go out for a drink and eat after
the show. They would have sacrificed and taken me home, but I didn't want to do
this to them. I had another friend pick me up and was I ever glad to get home.
It was a great show and there was nothing I didn't see that I could have
seen.
I actually felt better after taking
a shower and watched educational television until around 2 or three in the
morning on the satellite. Some of the best shows are in the middle of the early
morning hours.
DAY 29, WEDNESDAY - 11:00 PM
DAY 37, THURSDAY - 3:00 AM
Wow, I find it hard to believe that
8 days have gone by and I have not written anything here. I have had a sort of
rough week. Moments of not feeling well at all. Then a few hours later having
so much energy that I found it almost impossible to go to bed at all.
All in all, I feel tremendous. I
can't life heavy objects for more than a couple of minutes without really
feeling a weakness in my muscles. If I go up two flights of stairs, I find I
need to stop for about 20 seconds between levels.
However, my mind is exceptionally
sharp and full of clarity. I have feelings of empowerment inside that bring
wells of emotional joy and tears to my face. The tears are full of joy and
gratitude with my new found clarity and empowerment. I know what direction I
will be heading in the future. I have had visions of what to do. I can't share
this right now, this is between me and God - THE ALL IN ALL THAT IS ALL.
Even with this clarity, I am not
making any decisions until my fast is finished and I have more certitude. I
don't want to be premature. I want to do whatever it is that the universe wants
me to do for whatever purposes it wants to fulfill through me and my
life.
This long fast has taken me over ten
years to finally follow through with. However, I now see that any earlier in my
life wouldn't have been the right time. I had many things to learn to the core
of my being that were necessary for me to move forward on my visions.
Today, I got up off the couch
rapidly and reached high over my head, in a quick manner, to lower a ceiling
fan's speed. All of I sudden I felt the feeling of light-headedness. Usually,
when I have this feeling, I recognize it in time to sit down and rest a moment
and the light-headedness passed. However, this time is was so quick that I
fainted and a few seconds later found myself on the floor with a chair
overturned next to me. My chin hurt and my nose hurt. This means that I bumped
them on the way down. Of course, I felt no pain when it happened. I have to
constantly remember to move slowly and do not raise my arms high above my head
rapidly. This causes a rapid draining of some blood in the brain and a lowering
of blood pressure in the brain.
I almost neglected to tell you
something. I stayed in bed for most of the day because I really did not feel
well. About 8 hours after the faint spell, I all of a sudden felt a urge to sit
on the toilet. Now, remember that I haven't had any food for over a month.
However, a quart of rubbery pencil-thin stringy material came out. It was an
incredible evacuation. Tthere was something definitely working itself out of my
body and this probably contributed to the faint spell and my periods of not
feeling very well over the last few days. Once it passed, I have felt better
ever since.
This is the first time this has
happened, and I will do my best to insure that it doesn't happen again. Tonight
I feel great. I am taking out a bunch of re-cycling material and a lot of trash
for pick-up tomorrow. I feel no problems with this.
I don't want to scare anyone with
this story. I do feel I need to put it in my journal as a precautionary
warning. I have been fasting for shorter periods for over 15 years and this has
never happened before. However, I must remember that it has been 37 days since
this fast began. My body and energy reserves are not what they were then or
even after 2 weeks on the fast.
Even on my last 15 day fast, I
worked an almost full schedule. Anything over 15 days and one cannot work
normal. One needs to follow the body's signals and pay heed to them.
I have lost 40 pounds on this fast.
I am at 145 now. In the last week, I have not lost a single pound. At some
point, the body reaches its next metabolic set-point and tries to keep it at
this new level. This is why diets hardly ever work in the long term.. People go
back to their old eating habits before their body can gradually adjust to the
increase of food intake. More food with the same lowered metabolic rate leads
to more calories being stored as fat. Then they repeat this cycle over and over
and eventually return to their original weight. More likely than not, they end
up in worse shape than they were before the fast. It has to be a change in life
to maintain the gains.. This is okay. Since my fast was for cleansing and
clarity, and not weight loss, no problem.
I am going to bed. I wanted to
update this journal before the fast ends. I expect July 4th to be my last day.
We will see. This will mean 5 days leading into the water-only part of the
fast, 40 days on water only, and then 4-5 days re-introducing food back into my
body.
Good night.
DAY 39, FRIDAY, 4:00 AM
I feel great and have been working
for about 6 hours. I even lifted a window air-conditioner out of the storage
shed, carried it 10 feet into the house, then set it on the floor to be safe. I
felt no ill effects. I had a friend come over later who took it the rest of the
way to another floor of the house and put it into the window. Can't get carried
away with too much hard labor. Remember yesterday.
Good Night
SUNDAY, DAY 40 - 10:00 PM - 138
POUNDS
Well, it is 40 days since I began
this journey. Other than being fairly simple, most of what I thought might
happen - hasn't happened. However, three very important things did
happen.
One, I have had visions of what I am to do in the immediate future. My
spiritual web site will have a lot of this information over the next few
months.
The second is that I feel very empowered to do what the visions showed
me.
The third is that my clarity of mind is incredibly improved since I began this
fast.
I suppose these three things are just different facets of the same thing. And
this was the most important accomplishment I set out to achieve.
I could go for another ten days. I was going to fast for 45 days from the first
day I began with the juice. But fasting for the sake of fasting for a set time
as one's primary goal is not a good reason to fast. I feel my body is telling
me it is time to give it some nourishment. I must listen to my body. After 40
days, I know when it is my body speaking to me and not the force of habit or
the manipulations of my thoughts.
Praise THE ALL that I have had this opportunity to have the time and support of
my loved ones on this most important spiritual journey.
I have an orange and a knife on my
lap. I will only eat 1/2 of the orange right now. My stomach must be shrunk to
the size of a baby's fist by now. It requires more discipline to break a fast
properly than it takes to stay on a fast after 4 or 5 days. I choose an orange
because of the cleansing effect of the citric juice; the stimulating effect it
will have on getting my digestive juices going again, and the little
fiber.
I am crying so intensely. They are
tears of spiritual gratitude. Not for the orange, but for the gift of having
even one moment to have experienced the incredibleness of existence at all. And
to think I now have the opportunity to follow through on my visions.
Unbelievable praise is surging through my mind body and the essence of what I
truly am. I can't believe these feelings. Wow, what an orange.....
I almost cannot bring my self to start eating the orange. One because I don't
want this incredible emotion to be over and two because of the unbelievable
experience I am sure it will be. I hope I can handle the experience.
I just cut it in half. It is in my
lap on a towel. The smell is most incredible. The juice glistens like love
beads on the brow of THE ALL. I am sure it will take me at least 15 minutes to
eat just 1/2 of the orange.
I just licked it. Incredible.
Remember, I have smelled many foods during this fast, even had my nose one inch
from the steaming food. This is transcending all.
I am going to stop writing now. This
is between me and THE ALL THAT IS IN ALL AND IS ALL.
Well, it actually took me about 25
minutes to eat the 1/2 orange. It actually filled me for the moment. It was a
spiritual experience. I am sure some will say just the fact of having anything
to eat after 40 days, 36 of them with just water and about six tablespoons of
something two other days, would be an unbelievable experience. All I can say is
that yes, having anything to eat is incredible. However, This was much more
than just eating an orange. You have to experience it to know it. I went into
this for spiritual reasons and I am not disappointed at all. Time will show. I
did not get some of the things I had wanted, but now I know I got the spiritual
things I needed.
MONDAY, DAY 41 - 1:00 AM
Well, it is now three hours since the orange was on my lap. I just had the
second half of the orange and ate one additional orange. This is enough for
today. I feel very good. I can actually hear my stomach and the orange getting
to know each other again. It is a good feeling, but I must have no more until
tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I shall go to the market and get some nice cantaloupes, honeydews,
casaba melons (if any of these are available). I shall have some more oranges
and the melons. Melons are one of the purest foods you can eat. They are
probably 90% water and are a good source of fiber. Tomorrow shall be a
fruit-only day. If they have any ripe avocados, I might have one later in the
evening. If the avocados are not ripe, I shall buy some for future days. They
would be very good for my re-introducing foods back into my body. The following
day, I might have my first salad. I am not sure what I will put into it yet,
but everything will be fresh and raw. I will keep updating this journal for
another week or so, just to give you an idea of the after-effects of this
journey.
Fruits have just about all the nutrients you need, even protein. I will wait a
few days before I put concentrated protein into my body. I would love to have
some cashews and pecans, but they have to wait.
I am going to relax now and allow this new phase to flow.
There is an old saying, "do not put new wine into old wine bottles".
It is a very profound saying. I won't be drinking any alcohol anymore,. Now
that I have cleaned out the old wine bottle, my body, I shall put only good
nutritional food into it. I would be a fool to do otherwise after the last 40
days.
You should eat at least 50% fruits and raw vegetables and the rest, if cooked,
lightly steamed or lightly cooked. If you heat vegetables over 105 degrees you
destroy a great percentage of the vital nutrients and enzymes in the food. I
will never eat over-cooked food anymore. I might as well eat glue or sawdust
and take vitamins to try and make it resemble nutritious.
TUESDAY, DAY 42 - 11:00 PM
I had one delicious orange
yesterday. About three hours later I had an incredibly delicious cantaloupe. I
felt great and was not hungry. The next day (today) I was going to start having
a fresh green and vegetable salad later in the day after a breakfast of
fruit.
Then I was out doing an errand with a friend and she asked if I would like to
try a little Thai food. I said okay, I think I might try a salad to start some
greens going down.
Well, The greens were great. Then I
remembered one other Thai dish I used love. It is fresh vegetables cooked in
coconut milk. Understand that I can't stand spicy hot food. Especially not now
after the fast. However, they prepared it especially for me. The normal mild
way it is served to those who want it mild is a reddish-white color. Mine came
milky white. No hot spice at all. I told myself I would have a few tablespoons
to taste and then take the rest home for perhaps tomorrow.
Well.....I knew it; I knew it; I
knew it:
I shouldn't have done it; I
shouldn't have done it; I shouldn't have done it.
One little spoonful at a time, just
one more little spoonful, just one more, and then I will give it to them to
wrap up. Well, it seemed that all of a sudden, there wasn't really enough left
to take home. Just about 4 tablespoons left. I thought I might as well finish
it.
It was delicious. We took a 20
minute slow walk after dinner to help the digestion. I was stuffed, but I felt
good.
Well, this was about 9:00 last
night. About 3 hours later I had a pain in my lower left side. A little
knife-like, nothing to overly concern myself with, but a reminder that it
looked like my pancreas was a little overwhelmed.
No problem. About 1:00 AM this
morning, I started getting an icky case of heartburn (gastric fluid reflux from
my stomach up through my esophagal spincter muscle and into my esophagus). My
stomach acid was eating some of my esophagus. This was not a pleasant feeling.
After all, I had went about 5 weeks with just water and my esophagus was
feeling fine - until now.
I couldn't lie down, this would have
made it worse. So I did a lot of food storage cleaning and organizing for when
I will start my new cooking experience of my few thousand vegan recipes.
About 6:00 this morning, I tried to
lie down. I had to slightly elevate my upper torso so that the reflux would not
be encouraged by gravity to spend more time in my esophagus. I laid there for
about an hour and just decided to get up and do some more work. I did a
tremendous amount of work. In fact, is is now almost 11:30 at night and I have
not slept any since yesterday.
About 3:00 PM this afternoon, I was
feeling no more discomfort from the reflux for some time. I decided to have a
couple of mangoes. They were delicious and I felt fine afterwards.
Tonight about 4 hours later, I had a
fresh salad and a little tofu. Only, this time, I kept a more disciplined eye
on what I was eating, ate slower, and actually started putting the leftovers
away before I was finished eating. Both to put away some of the still tempting
food and as a reminder that I had to say - ENOUGH. - before I had to say I
CAN'T HOLD ANY MORE.
It is about three hours later and I
feel fine. No inkling of what I was feeling last night. I am going to go up to
the bed and sit upright for a while watching educational satellite programs and
slowly unwind.
This just shows all of you who have
E-Mailed me about fasting over the last year or so that I know your trials and
temptations. I have experienced almost everything you either have or will
experience. I am spirit, but I am a spirit in a material world. I should have
had no problem using the discipline to follow the fast-breaking plan I spoke
about. However, perhaps this little story of how we all have similiar
temptations - and how I actually did not last past 48 hours before not
practicing what I preach. Perhaps this story will help you keep a more watchful
eye out for the temptations that are sure to come. Remember one most important
thing. Be gentle with yourself. If you do what you say you shouldn't do, talk
to yourself and remind yourself of your foolishness in neglecting to just not
say "NO" to whatever tempted you.. If you slip, remind yourself you
knew what to do and you choose to do otherwise. The choice to overeat was mine.
The choice to overeat is yours. Sometimes the subliminal forces seem to have a
will of their own inside you, however, the final decision is yours. Do you
struggle and use more discipline? Or do you cease the struggle and do what you
know you should not do. Sometimes the mental manipulations are not as blatant.
Sometimes the rationalization is very subtle. Remember, you can get to Chicago
from New York walking all the way - ONE LITTLE STEP AT A TIME. Then forgive
yourself and be thankful that this is a new moment, tomorrow is a new day. It
is not always the number of times you stumble or get knocked down that matters,
what matters is after each and every time you take the step in the wrong
direction instead of the right direction - you just pick yourself up, dust
yourself off, and say "Okay, I shouldn't have, but I did, I choose to do
it, now I choose to begin again. I will succeed". Sooner or later - YOU
WILL SUCCEED!
I will stop in tomorrow and let you
know what is happening. The journey of a forty days fast is still in the
process. It doesn't end with the moment you say, "Okay, time to eat
now".
It still has a few days left. It
takes between four to six weeks for your metabolism to re-adjust to the
tremendous amount of food energy it is now receiving after over 5 weeks of
having nothing but what it could find and burn on its own.
I lost about 50 pounds on the fast.
I am not going to put it back on. What I put on will be better than what I took
off. One can gain about 18-20 pounds a year in muscle weight. Of course this in
addition to fat weight. When the winter months start getting closer, your body
adds a little weight as a survival mechanism for the coming cold weather. We
require some weight that is not muscle.
Just as a side thought. Do you
realize that 5 to 8 pounds of our weight is fecal matter that we are carrying
around with us?
This fecal matter and some water
weight we will put back on fairly quickly will bring us back up maybe 15 pounds
over our last day fasting weight. The rest is what you eat, how much, and how
patient you are for your metabolism to adjust to your non-fasting
life-style.
Speak with you later..... ;-)
FOUR MONTHS
LATER
It is now four months after ending my fast. Time for an update and a closing of
this journal.
I went to Cape Cod for the July 4
weekend. I was having a wonderful time. Then another painful lesson occurred.
After finishing the fast, I was so joyous of eating again that I neglected to
drink enough water. On July 5th, I realized that I had not gone to the bathroom
and passed any fecal matter since ending the fast. I also noticed that I was
getting lower bowel pains. Then I realized that I had developed "impacted
bowels" because of the lack of water (liquid) in my diet. I went from up
to a gallon of water a day and no food to 8 ounces of water a day and food,
food, food. It took me three days to get my bowels back in order. I won't go
into the details here but it was a fantastic learning experience. I received
first hand knowledge of what a lot of elderly people go through with impacted
bowels. The pain is REAL.
After that impacted bowel experience
I kept getting stronger and stronger and feeling better and better.
Now I exercise every other day for
two hours. Thirty minutes on a treadmill, 45 minutes with weights and about 45
minutes of yoga (stretching).
Most spirit-people, in their later
years experience three physical problems that they could have prepared for when
they were earth-years younger.
First is circulation and
cardiovascular problems. The treadmill takes care of this.
Second is digestion and elimination
problems - both part of one process. Eating over 50% of a diet of uncooked and
fresh fruits and vegetables takes care of this. The exercise helps this
also.
Third is flexibility and limberness.
The yoga (stretching) takes care of this.
I have gained back 27 pounds. I have
stabilized at 165 pounds The weight I have put back on is mostly muscle weight,
not fat weight
I feel as good or better than I
remember feeling when my body was in its twenties. Friends and business
associates say I look better than they have seen me look in years.
After being a vegetarian for over 17
years, I am a complete vegan now. No animal products of any kind. I find that I
really don't miss the pizzas. I have a vegetable pizza, without cheese, and
friends sometime say it tastes better than their pizza with the oily, fatty,
binding cheese.
I just spent a couple of weeks in
Hawaii and had no problem over-eating. I ate as much as I wanted and found
plenty to eat. However, my old habits seem to be a thing of the past.
I no longer drink coffee and find I
don't need nor do I miss it. I do not drink alcohol any longer. I don't really
have headaches any more. I may have had two minor ones in the last four
months.
In short, I feel great, I look
great. I fast one to three days now when I feel like it. I will do at least a 7
to 10 day fast after the first of the year. I am really looking forward to my
next long fast in the spring. However, the next long fast will not be recorded
in a journal for others to see. It should be between me and God. This journal
was an exception for the purpose of helping others along their fasting and
spiritual journey. I hope and pray this journal has helped some of you.
I am now going to spend more time
building my spiritual web site and I will be putting a lot of information on it
concerning fasting, diet and health.
If there is any way I can help you,
please don't hesitate to e-mail me. I will get back to you as soon as I
can.
