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AM'S JOURNAL OF HIS FIRST FORTY DAY FAST

DAY 1 – May 21, 1997 185 Pounds

Well, I have decided to have a couple of days of my fruit, fruit juice, and protein powder and colon conditioner beverage to help ease my transition.



DAY 2

 

Will I follow through tomorrow on the water-only fast?



DAY 3

 

Water tastes good. A friend came by the house to watch some movies and actually brought vegetarian Mexican food for him and his wife to enjoy during the movies. I can't believe he would bring the food knowing I am starting this fast. Perhaps the temptation is good.

 

I drank a lot of juice tonight and found myself having 5 tablespoons of hummus and sticking my finger into the jar of strawberry preserves a few times. I rationalized that the hummus and strawberry preserve is almost liquid – right? Ha-ha, Ha-ha. What games we play on ourselves to rationalize doing what we strongly desire to do. At least the juice was heavily fortified with colon conditioner to help scrub the hummus and preserve out of my body.



DAY 4

 

Meditated for 40 minutes – felt good. My tongue is beginning to noticeably develop a white velvety coating. The tongue is one of the body's main organs of toxic elimination during a fast. On a prolonged fast, they say it takes about 25 days for your tongue to become clear and pink. This is a sign that the body has detoxified most of what it had to deal with. I have never went on a 25 day fast before, so I don't know. But on my last 15 day fast, I did notice my tongue starting to clear from the sides in towards the middle. This fast is supposed to be longer than 25 days, so we will see what happens.

 

Well, today has been just water and colon conditioner. I also had about one-cup of coffee also to see what it would do to my alertness. Coffee has to go - starting tomorrow. Starting tomorrow – I will be pure in my fast. My dear friend is coming by the house again tonight. This time to watch Babylon 5 and a movie or two on my 60' television with surround sound. I may be getting rid of the TV in a few days so we want to get as much enjoyment out of it as possible. Once the TV goes, it will be missed. It was nice to have experienced it at least once. I wonder if he will be bringing food again. Even if he does, I will not have juice as a crutch.

 

He not only brought food, I was in his truck waiting for him to come out of a restaurant with food to go for him and his wife to eat at my house while watching the movies. Wow…..Temptations.

 

On the way home with the food, I was actually holding the bag smelling the food, I took deep inhalations of the molecular emanations of the hot food. It smelled delicious.

 

During the movie, I had one-half tablespoon of the sauce from one of the different foodstuffs he brought. I also had a teaspoon of soy sauce (wow, was it ever salty). It was good, but not worth enough for me to break my fast. I figure that if I can take a one-half tablespoon taste and not break my fast – then the whole process was a good exercise in the fasting journey. I don't really miss it, even now some hours later. This is good.

 

I almost had sex a few minutes ago – but it is not conducive to the fast – it is only an escape and it debilitates your physical and psychic energy during the fast.

 

I am going to do a different type of meditation in bed before sleeping. See ya later…..



DAY 5

 

I have slept for about 14 hours. I don't want to get up. The thought of getting up without the prospect of food for energy and oral pleasure is not inspiring. However, this fasting experience is for spirit, so- I'm up. I have so much work to do. I am not supposed to work. I am told to relax, meditate and contemplate. Most other people who go through a long fasting experience will have to continue living their daily life interacting with the rest of the world doing work – I shall also.

 

It is time to go to sleep again. I did great today. Except a few minutes ago. I told myself that I could have just a one-half tablespoon of ice cream. After all, it is liquid. Well, one lick led to another and I was like a ravenous animal. I ended up eating about 6 heaping tablespoons of various flavors of ice cream. I must say it was absolutely delicious. However, it was not the way to do a fast. Now my stomach feels funny. I actually preferred the way it felt before the ice cream. I just drank a lot of water mixed with colon conditioner. I refuse to feel guilty since it was my choice to eat the ice cream. My desire for spiritual growth through this fast is pure enough that I will succeed. Tomorrow is another day – now is a new beginning. I can never say that I don't understand what other seekers go through in following through with a strict water fast. I think the most tempting attraction eating the ice cream is the fact that after this fast, for at least one year, I am going to be completely vegan. I will not eat any animal products of any kind. This means no dairy, no ice cream and no pizza. To some people, no ice cream and no pizza (with cheese) is hell on earth. We will see.

 

Another reason for the strong temptation is just the fact that I expect to not eat for at least 40 days. The thought itself is enough to get almost any one to eat as much of anything possible before the final bite of food.

Play take-away with anything and you increase the urge to have more and more of it. This is a natural feeling. Deprivation when we have not been used to depriving ourselves takes a lot of desire for growth.

It is about two hours since I backslid into the ice cream. My head feels like a headache is coming. My head feels congested. My stomach is arguing. I belch up a nasty taste. So much for a moments pleasure in fast-breaking.



DAY 6

 

I got awoken after less than 6 hours sleep. What will this day bring?

 

It is 12 hours later, at night. I have done some work today. There is still so much to do. Meditated and did some spiritual reading also.

 

I feel very adamant about not wanting any more rationalized taste treats during this fast.

 

I have a very bad headache. It has been building very slowly over the last few hours. I have taken some headache pills to help. I would rather not take any pills, but I will allow myself this headache pill crutch for the moment.



DAY 7

 

Well, I stayed in bed for 16 hours. I did not have the initiative to get up. If I had to go to a client, I would have got out of bed.

 

I took longer to get going today, but, now it is 5:30 the next morning. I have been up for 13 hours doing work. My body is aching, but my mind is very alert – ready to continue work. I must lay down for a while. Rest is important. Work will still be there later today. It is now the morning of the 8th day. I stuck my nose in a mustard jar last night and took about twenty deep inhalations. It smelled fantastic, but I had no problem closing the lid without physically tasting any. It seems that the deep inhalations satisfy the brain somewhat in that it seems to think I had some good flavor. After all, most of our taste is through the nose, not in our mouth. I followed up the deep inhalations with a lot of water and it seems like I am not deprived of the pleasure of food. A few good inhalations and a lot of water will do wonders sometimes.



DAY 8 and 9 (1 AM after midnight of day 9)

 

Well, I slept for about 6 hours. Made it through the time pretty good. I say this is day 8 and 9 because after I got up yesterday (day 8) after 6 hours sleep, I stayed up all night, took a shower in the morning of day 9, went to see some clients, and literally kept going all day and through the evening of day 9. It is now after midnight of day 9 and I still have so much energy that I find it hard to believe. It is like the body finds energy that you couldn't even buy for good money when you are not fasting. I wonder how I will feel tomorrow. I really don't even want to go to bed now, even after being up for over 31 hours. I really should try to sleep, I am sure my body would appreciate it.

 

I am not really hungry, haven't been since day 5. There is a certain feeling in my stomach that I never have when I am eating, but it is not hunger. Food doesn't really interest me very much. The purpose of this fast is of such great importance that the purpose will empower me to continue on to whatever I am to experience.

 

I haven't meditated for about 48 hours and I feel bad about this, but I shall get back with it.



DAY 10 - 7 PM

 

I am just getting up from a 16-hour sleep. Praise God I have the opportunity to sleep like this occasionally.

 

Dreams are a mirror of the soul that we are. During this sleep I had incredible dreams. Some of a spiritual nature that gives me knowledge and answers in story form that is needed for my spiritual growth. These, of course, I cannot put here in this journal. One, because they are subjective, only relevant to my growth and me. Two, because they had to be shown in a story form, a story that I was an involved participant, I was an integral part of the dream story. They cannot be told in written, sentence structure. They were too full of various dynamics. Many things were sometimes happening all around me at one time. What can be told are the lessons I distill from the dreams. These lessons will be part of what I speak and write about in my spiritual discussions and writings.

 

Another part of my dream I can share on paper. It is most incredible. I notice this happening in my dreams only the more I get into long fasts. During the dream I find myself in a situation where there is much good food. Perhaps I am a huge cafeteria; a huge wedding ceremony; a huge banquet. I mean huge – feeding hundreds of people. If I leave the main dining area, the rooms I come into are the kitchen or the main preparation area. In other words, no matter what room I go into, I am confronted with food of incredible sight and smell. During this dream I am very aware that I am fasting. I even keep reminding myself of the fact that I am fasting. However, eventually during the dream, I take a sip or a nibble of something. This sip or nibble leads to another sip or nibble. During this time in my dream, I am fighting with myself about the fact that this constitutes breaking my fast. I rationalize that a sip is no big thing. Eventually, I am eating whatever I can get my hands on. All the food I am eating is very real. I feel substance and taste incredible flavors. All this time I am looking around me to see if anyone is catching me breaking my fast; I am very cognizant of my fasting situation. At this point during the dream, I am full of food. I wake up thinking I have broke my fast and might as well continue eating. Then I realize it was a dream and feel relieved.

 

During this last dream, I was even aware of the amount of days I have been fasting. When I finished stuffing myself, I asked myself does this mean that I am now back at day one if I continue the fast, or am I on day 10 with one day of eating.

 

One reason I love to dream during a fast is because I have the opportunity to eat at banquets made for kings.

 

The spiritual lessons come through my thoughts during my temptation process during the dreams and my reflection upon the dream after I awake.

 

Bon Appetite.

 

1:00 AM

 

I had a great meditation a few hours ago. Saw some great educational programs on TV. Spoke with my mother and a few other people on the telephone. Now I cannot stay in bed any longer. My body is now aching from being in bed for almost 24 hours. I am going to get up to take a shower and do some computer and paper work. I feel a little weak.

 

I have decided to put the time of each of these observations in this journal as I write it. This will help to keep a sense of the flow of time in this fast. I consider day 1 to start after I wake up the first time since I last ate. For example, if I last ate at 3 AM and went to bed for 10 hours, waking up at 1 PM, day one would start at 1 PM and with the sunrise and complete at 1 PM the following day. Technically, fasting is the absence of any food. However, I don't consider eating a big meal and then sleeping for ten hours a fast. Therefore I consider the fast to start after I awake after my last meal. If I started the fast at 1 PM, then at the following 1:00 AM, I am not into the second day, I am still into the first day. I would probably consider the following sunrise to be the beginning of my second day. On a long fast the few hours difference between 1 AM and sunrise does not make much of a difference. On a short fast of say three days, then these few hours would make a big difference.

 

2:15 AM

 

I am going to bed again. I feel weak.



DAY 11 7:30 AM 170 Pounds

 

I am getting up to go into NYC for some errands. I feel okay. I have a couple of slightly painful bumps on the roof of my mouth. This is part of the detoxifying process. They should go away in a few days. Amazingly, I haven't had any headaches since a week ago.

 

12 NOON

 

I am going back to bed.

 

8:30 PM

 

I am out of bed. I feel a little weak. Perhaps with a shower and some meditation I will get some energy to do some work.

 

I am drinking about a gallon of distilled water daily. It taste delicious.

 

10:30 PM

 

I meditated for an hour then slept for an hour.

 

1:00 AM

 

I watched a little TV, did a little work. Now, I might sleep some more.



DAY 12 – 9:00 am

 

Well, I did not sleep. I felt a knot in my stomach for about 5 hours. I watched some TV and then got up and ran some errands. Now I am going out to do one more errand. It is at a bakery/cafe that a friend owns and it will be interesting to be around all that food that I can have as much of without even asking, without even paying. The smells will be interesting.

 

The knot in my stomach has subsided some. I feel better than earlier.

 

11:00 AM

 

Well, I just returned from the bakery/cafe that my friend owns. It was an incredible experience. I walked into the area where the baking was going on and the smells were unbelievable. I walked around the front retail area and looked at the 100 different kinds of cakes and cookies. It was breakfast time, a very busy time on Sunday so the smells were all around me. I went into their walk-in refrigerator in the basement and surveyed all the hundreds of things that no one would see if I took a nibble. After about 10 minutes in the bakery and retail area I actually felt like I was on a drug. I was so high from the smells. I felt like I was in paradise. I stayed for about an hour. I did not have even a lick of food. I left feeling very empowered. If I live through this fast, I shall definitely return there.

 

I napped on and off through the day.

 

9:30 PM

 

I am going to do some more work and make some important phone calls.



DAY 13 - 9:00 AM

 

I have done enough work. I am going to sleep for a while.

 

4:00 PM

 

I got up around 11:30 AM, meditated for 45 minutes, then decided to go back to sleep. I will now see what work I can accomplish. I have phone calls to make and paperwork to sort through. I might have a big computer job later this week, I have to talk with the client.



DAY 14 – 5:30 AM

 

I have done enough work for a while. I am going to go to sleep. I expect to be getting a lot of phone calls later today and will be woken up numerous times as usual. Since I work out of my home - this is what I have to expect. It is a lot better than having to go to an office every day during this long fast. Thank god I have this opportunity. It is sometimes getting more difficult to go up two flights of stairs. Sometimes, but not all the time.

 

I don't understand why I have felt very debilitated the last few days. My last 15 day fast, I had enormous energy to do work, and hardly ever wanted to go to bed once I woke up. It took about 30-60 minutes longer to really wake up but once I was up, I had a clear mind and kept busy.

 

Perhaps I need a colonic to clean out my lower bowel. A colonic is like an enema but much more intensive and deeply penetrating into the lower colon. It really cleans out the toxic material that has not been eliminated during a long fast when the bowels practically shut down since there is no new food to help the old food along. Since I have not had an evacuation for over a week, the toxins must really be building up down there. Oh, well, let's see how I feel later.

 

3:00 PM

 

I feel a little better. I might do the colonic tomorrow.



DAY 15 – 6 AM

 

Wow, now I feel just like I thought I should feel. I have been more productive since I got up than I have almost this entire fast. I have no problem going up the two flights of stairs as many times as I need to. I don't want to go to sleep. My mind is super clear. There must have been a detoxifying process going on the last few days that sapped my energy. Now - I FEEL GREAT!

 

I suppose I should lie down for a while. The body could probably use some rest from all the work I have accomplished this waking period.

 

I will still do the colonic in a day or two. I am sure it is needed. In the past fasts, after the colonic, I felt pounds lighter and my mind seemed clearer.

 

I REPEAT – I FEEL INCREDIBLE. I haven't even had a headache since day five when I had the six heaping tablespoons of ice cream.

 

4:30 PM

 

I don't want to get up yet but I must. I have to get up tomorrow morning about 7 AM and go into Manhattan for a long day of work. I must get to bed early tonight so as to be as rested and have as much energy as possible tomorrow.

 

My mouth has the funniest taste in it. I have had this taste for a few days now, but not as intense as today. Not the usual morning wake-up taste. An icky taste. Must be full of toxins. After all, the tongue is one of the body's main organs of toxic elimination. As I said before, the coating of the tongue on a fast is a sign of the detoxification process. I am going to brush my mouth, teeth and tongue and see if it helps.

 

Well, I just brushed and my mouth definitely feels cleaner, the taste is largely diminished and the toothpaste tastes delicious. Daily brushing of the teeth, gums, tongue and roof of your mouth is recommended.

 

When I woke up a little while ago, I really just wanted to go back to sleep. However, I lay in bed for about 30-30 minutes, got up and washed my face, brushed, and now as I am typing this, I am starting to feel alert, energized and ready to do some work. It just takes a little longer to get the energy moving through your body during a prolonged fast - but it is there and available.

 

7:00 PM

 

I just took a blood sugar level test. One that diabetics use to keep track of how much insulin they need. I tested a 71. Below 60 would be considered the beginning of low blood sugar. This means that after 16 days of a water-fast that I don't have low blood sugar levels. This is incredible. I am sure that most of our learned doctors would tell me that this is almost impossible, especially since I am still doing work. I even just moved some furniture around in the living room about an hour ago. I feel fortified and empowered by this result.

 

My mouth feels like it has cotton in it again. The taste I had when I woke up is not as pronounced. The good brushing was what is needed every day. The cotton feeling and funny taste is normal during detoxification.

 

12:40 AM

 

I am going to bed now. I have to get up around 7 AM. I have been very busy. I just took my blood sugar again and it was only 43. This is low. I am assuming it is because I have done a lot of work. I must check it again after I had had a chance to rest. I still feel good.


DAY 16 - 7:30 AM

 

I had so much energy lazy night that I couldn't fall asleep until about 3:30 AM. I woke up at 6:30 AM. Three hours sleep. I feel alert. Now my day begins. I have to go into Manhattan and a few other errands. I probably won't have much trouble falling asleep tonight. I feel a little week like I could use some more rest. We will see what the day has in store.

 

11:00 PM

 

Well, it is now over 15 hours since I got up this morning. I was out running around until around 4 PM and have been doing paperwork and phone calls since then. I am calling it quits for today. I think I have done enough for day 17 of the fast. The energy levels that I remember from my last 15 day fast have returned. This is very encouraging. I wonder what tomorrow will bring.



DAY 17 – 7 AM

 

Unbelievable - I fell asleep about 12:30 AM this morning and I have been awake since 6:30 AM. I am not tired. I am going to get up and get back into work. Perhaps I can accomplish a lot again today. There is no telling when my energy level will drop again and I will feel debilitated. This energy level reminds me of the latter part of my last 15-day fast. It is great.

 

9:30 PM

 

Well, I have been working all day having been up for over 14 hours. I am going to go to bed and read and relax now. Tomorrow is another day. Of course, I know that tomorrow is promised to no one, but I shall take it as it comes.

 

I feel good – but tired…..



DAY 18 – 4:00 PM

 

I almost got up hours earlier, but I did not feel as good as I wanted to and so thought that some more sleep would help. After all, it is Saturday, the day a lot of people rest almost as much as Sunday. After all, the last few days, I have been getting up very early and working for 12 to 15 hours a day. And this is without eating.



DAY – 19, SUNDAY - 6:30 AM

 

I think I might go lie down for a while. I feel good, but I don't want to push it.


4:30 PM


I work up about 11:30 AM. I finally did my colonic. I was getting very concerned about toxic buildup in my colon. I should have done the colonic a week ago, but I searched and searched and could not find my colonic equipment. The last few days, I have had gas and flatulence. This is a sign of something fermenting inside my colon. This morning I started to feel very desperate and concerned that I would hurt my body unless I had a colonic VERY SOON. As I went into meditation this morning, I said during the meditation I wanted to be shown where the equipment was located. Within five minutes of meditating, I all of a sudden got a flash picture in my mind showing me where it was located. It was amazing. I was so excited that I wanted to stop the meditation and see if my vision was right. I resisted this impulse and after the meditation was finished I went to the place that I saw it in my vision. I thought I would have to look for the container that it was shown to me to be in. However, as soon as I was halfway down the basement steps, there it was right in front of. I had looked in the area many times but never saw it

I did the colonic and I was amazed and gratified to see all the stuff that came out of me. It was at least a half-gallon of stuff that should not stay in me during a fast.

I feel so much better now, both psychologically and physically. The way I found the equipment and the way I feel now is inspiring me to continue on this spiritual fast.



DAY 20, MONDAY - 10 PM

I slept for about 11 hours today, from about 5:00 AM to about 4:00 PM. I am now going to lie back down and sleep until tomorrow morning. After my colonic yesterday, I had a very busy day and need the extra rest.



DAY 21, TUESDAY - 6:30 AM

I just got out of bed and have a lot to do today. I feel pretty good.

I have had a long day, it is 10:00 PM and I have worked in the home-office for about 7 hours and then went out to do things for another 5 hours. I am going to sleep.



DAY 22, WEDNESDAY - 3:30 PM

I got up this morning about 8:00 AM and meditated. I have been working since then. I feel pretty good.


12:00 MIDNIGHT


It is now midnight. I have been up and working a long time. I think I am going to bed. Other than exhausted from over 13 hours of work, I feel fine.



DAY 25, SATURDAY - 11:45 PM


Well, it seems like I have not entered anything in this journal for three days. I have been very busy at times and at other times, I felt somewhat drained.
I have done a lot of work today. I have a lot of more work yet to do. I want to get all my business work as caught up as possible so the last two weeks of my fast can be spent entirely in spiritual areas. I want to do some restructuring of my AMSWAY site



12:54 AM


Today I had a most beautiful experience. I wish I could give someone the picture and experience I had so that I would feel that they saw what I saw.

I was relaxing in bed and contemplating God and other things in my life when all of a sudden I had a vision. No, it was more than a vision. It was an incredibly real experience. Have you ever been to one of the newer outer space movies? You know how outer space looks so crystal clear as if you are floating through space with the stars and planets shining brightly and crystal clear?

Well, I found myself floating through space with no spaceship and is seemed like I had no physical body. I was taking in the breathtaking view of all the stars and planets. I felt my eye muscles start to focus on what I was seeing. This attempt to physically focus made the experiential vision vanish. I relaxed my focusing attempt and the vision returned. Then I couldn't stop myself from trying to focus and the vision went away again. This happened once more. When I would try to focus, the vision would disappear and my attempts to duplicate it were met with only a cloudy mass of nothing.

I am now going to bed. Good night.



DAY 26, SUNDAY - 11:45 PM


This is one of my weakest days on the whole fast. I now realize that the last couple of weeks of my fast are going to need more rest than I anticipated. However, this should not surprise me. It is only logical that after 26 days on a fast that the body's energy levels are going to be somewhat depleted. Thank God I have this opportunity to have the time to rest and move around at largely my own discretion.



DAY 27, MONDAY - 11:30 PM


Did some paperwork. I just received a call from a computer friend of mine. Tomorrow is the first day of the PC Expo, the second largest computer show in the country. It is at the Jacob Javits Convention here in NYC. There are four other geeks that want me to go with them, so I said yes. This means that I have to get up tomorrow morning about 7 AM and only get about 5 hours of sleep. Oh, well, if I get an early enough start then I won't have to go back the next day.



DAY 28, TUESDAY - 11:00 PM


What a day. The PC Expo took over the whole convention center. It is one humongous convention center. I checked out every nook and cranny of the show. By 4:15 PM, I was physically hurting. I walked probably 3 miles through the center, up and down row after row of new technology exhibits. All the while carrying a big shoulder bag to put things I wanted to take with me and a gallon of distilled water for my lunch. I didn't even wait the extra hour until the show closed for the day. I didn't want to be a party-pooper with my friends. They wanted to go out for a drink and eat after the show. They would have sacrificed and taken me home, but I didn't want to do this to them. I had another friend pick me up and was I ever glad to get home. It was a great show and there was nothing I didn't see that I could have seen.


I actually felt better after taking a shower and watched educational television until around 2 or three in the morning on the satellite. Some of the best shows are in the middle of the early morning hours.



DAY 29, WEDNESDAY - 11:00 PM



DAY 37, THURSDAY - 3:00 AM


Wow, I find it hard to believe that 8 days have gone by and I have not written anything here. I have had a sort of rough week. Moments of not feeling well at all. Then a few hours later having so much energy that I found it almost impossible to go to bed at all.

All in all, I feel tremendous. I can't life heavy objects for more than a couple of minutes without really feeling a weakness in my muscles. If I go up two flights of stairs, I find I need to stop for about 20 seconds between levels.

However, my mind is exceptionally sharp and full of clarity. I have feelings of empowerment inside that bring wells of emotional joy and tears to my face. The tears are full of joy and gratitude with my new found clarity and empowerment. I know what direction I will be heading in the future. I have had visions of what to do. I can't share this right now, this is between me and God - THE ALL IN ALL THAT IS ALL.

Even with this clarity, I am not making any decisions until my fast is finished and I have more certitude. I don't want to be premature. I want to do whatever it is that the universe wants me to do for whatever purposes it wants to fulfill through me and my life.

This long fast has taken me over ten years to finally follow through with. However, I now see that any earlier in my life wouldn't have been the right time. I had many things to learn to the core of my being that were necessary for me to move forward on my visions.

Today, I got up off the couch rapidly and reached high over my head, in a quick manner, to lower a ceiling fan's speed. All of I sudden I felt the feeling of light-headedness. Usually, when I have this feeling, I recognize it in time to sit down and rest a moment and the light-headedness passed. However, this time is was so quick that I fainted and a few seconds later found myself on the floor with a chair overturned next to me. My chin hurt and my nose hurt. This means that I bumped them on the way down. Of course, I felt no pain when it happened. I have to constantly remember to move slowly and do not raise my arms high above my head rapidly. This causes a rapid draining of some blood in the brain and a lowering of blood pressure in the brain.

I almost neglected to tell you something. I stayed in bed for most of the day because I really did not feel well. About 8 hours after the faint spell, I all of a sudden felt a urge to sit on the toilet. Now, remember that I haven't had any food for over a month. However, a quart of rubbery pencil-thin stringy material came out. It was an incredible evacuation. Tthere was something definitely working itself out of my body and this probably contributed to the faint spell and my periods of not feeling very well over the last few days. Once it passed, I have felt better ever since.

This is the first time this has happened, and I will do my best to insure that it doesn't happen again. Tonight I feel great. I am taking out a bunch of re-cycling material and a lot of trash for pick-up tomorrow. I feel no problems with this.

I don't want to scare anyone with this story. I do feel I need to put it in my journal as a precautionary warning. I have been fasting for shorter periods for over 15 years and this has never happened before. However, I must remember that it has been 37 days since this fast began. My body and energy reserves are not what they were then or even after 2 weeks on the fast.

Even on my last 15 day fast, I worked an almost full schedule. Anything over 15 days and one cannot work normal. One needs to follow the body's signals and pay heed to them.

I have lost 40 pounds on this fast. I am at 145 now. In the last week, I have not lost a single pound. At some point, the body reaches its next metabolic set-point and tries to keep it at this new level. This is why diets hardly ever work in the long term.. People go back to their old eating habits before their body can gradually adjust to the increase of food intake. More food with the same lowered metabolic rate leads to more calories being stored as fat. Then they repeat this cycle over and over and eventually return to their original weight. More likely than not, they end up in worse shape than they were before the fast. It has to be a change in life to maintain the gains.. This is okay. Since my fast was for cleansing and clarity, and not weight loss, no problem.

I am going to bed. I wanted to update this journal before the fast ends. I expect July 4th to be my last day. We will see. This will mean 5 days leading into the water-only part of the fast, 40 days on water only, and then 4-5 days re-introducing food back into my body.

Good night.



DAY 39, FRIDAY, 4:00 AM


I feel great and have been working for about 6 hours. I even lifted a window air-conditioner out of the storage shed, carried it 10 feet into the house, then set it on the floor to be safe. I felt no ill effects. I had a friend come over later who took it the rest of the way to another floor of the house and put it into the window. Can't get carried away with too much hard labor. Remember yesterday.

Good Night



SUNDAY, DAY 40 - 10:00 PM - 138 POUNDS

 

Well, it is 40 days since I began this journey. Other than being fairly simple, most of what I thought might happen - hasn't happened. However, three very important things did happen.

One, I have had visions of what I am to do in the immediate future. My spiritual web site will have a lot of this information over the next few months.

The second is that I feel very empowered to do what the visions showed me.

The third is that my clarity of mind is incredibly improved since I began this fast.

I suppose these three things are just different facets of the same thing. And this was the most important accomplishment I set out to achieve.

I could go for another ten days. I was going to fast for 45 days from the first day I began with the juice. But fasting for the sake of fasting for a set time as one's primary goal is not a good reason to fast. I feel my body is telling me it is time to give it some nourishment. I must listen to my body. After 40 days, I know when it is my body speaking to me and not the force of habit or the manipulations of my thoughts.

Praise THE ALL that I have had this opportunity to have the time and support of my loved ones on this most important spiritual journey.

I have an orange and a knife on my lap. I will only eat 1/2 of the orange right now. My stomach must be shrunk to the size of a baby's fist by now. It requires more discipline to break a fast properly than it takes to stay on a fast after 4 or 5 days. I choose an orange because of the cleansing effect of the citric juice; the stimulating effect it will have on getting my digestive juices going again, and the little fiber.

I am crying so intensely. They are tears of spiritual gratitude. Not for the orange, but for the gift of having even one moment to have experienced the incredibleness of existence at all. And to think I now have the opportunity to follow through on my visions. Unbelievable praise is surging through my mind body and the essence of what I truly am. I can't believe these feelings. Wow, what an orange.....

I almost cannot bring my self to start eating the orange. One because I don't want this incredible emotion to be over and two because of the unbelievable experience I am sure it will be. I hope I can handle the experience.

I just cut it in half. It is in my lap on a towel. The smell is most incredible. The juice glistens like love beads on the brow of THE ALL. I am sure it will take me at least 15 minutes to eat just 1/2 of the orange.

I just licked it. Incredible. Remember, I have smelled many foods during this fast, even had my nose one inch from the steaming food. This is transcending all.

I am going to stop writing now. This is between me and THE ALL THAT IS IN ALL AND IS ALL.

Well, it actually took me about 25 minutes to eat the 1/2 orange. It actually filled me for the moment. It was a spiritual experience. I am sure some will say just the fact of having anything to eat after 40 days, 36 of them with just water and about six tablespoons of something two other days, would be an unbelievable experience. All I can say is that yes, having anything to eat is incredible. However, This was much more than just eating an orange. You have to experience it to know it. I went into this for spiritual reasons and I am not disappointed at all. Time will show. I did not get some of the things I had wanted, but now I know I got the spiritual things I needed.



MONDAY, DAY 41 - 1:00 AM



Well, it is now three hours since the orange was on my lap. I just had the second half of the orange and ate one additional orange. This is enough for today. I feel very good. I can actually hear my stomach and the orange getting to know each other again. It is a good feeling, but I must have no more until tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I shall go to the market and get some nice cantaloupes, honeydews, casaba melons (if any of these are available). I shall have some more oranges and the melons. Melons are one of the purest foods you can eat. They are probably 90% water and are a good source of fiber. Tomorrow shall be a fruit-only day. If they have any ripe avocados, I might have one later in the evening. If the avocados are not ripe, I shall buy some for future days. They would be very good for my re-introducing foods back into my body. The following day, I might have my first salad. I am not sure what I will put into it yet, but everything will be fresh and raw. I will keep updating this journal for another week or so, just to give you an idea of the after-effects of this journey.

Fruits have just about all the nutrients you need, even protein. I will wait a few days before I put concentrated protein into my body. I would love to have some cashews and pecans, but they have to wait.

I am going to relax now and allow this new phase to flow.

There is an old saying, "do not put new wine into old wine bottles". It is a very profound saying. I won't be drinking any alcohol anymore,. Now that I have cleaned out the old wine bottle, my body, I shall put only good nutritional food into it. I would be a fool to do otherwise after the last 40 days.

You should eat at least 50% fruits and raw vegetables and the rest, if cooked, lightly steamed or lightly cooked. If you heat vegetables over 105 degrees you destroy a great percentage of the vital nutrients and enzymes in the food. I will never eat over-cooked food anymore. I might as well eat glue or sawdust and take vitamins to try and make it resemble nutritious.



TUESDAY, DAY 42 - 11:00 PM


I had one delicious orange yesterday. About three hours later I had an incredibly delicious cantaloupe. I felt great and was not hungry. The next day (today) I was going to start having a fresh green and vegetable salad later in the day after a breakfast of fruit.

Then I was out doing an errand with a friend and she asked if I would like to try a little Thai food. I said okay, I think I might try a salad to start some greens going down.

Well, The greens were great. Then I remembered one other Thai dish I used love. It is fresh vegetables cooked in coconut milk. Understand that I can't stand spicy hot food. Especially not now after the fast. However, they prepared it especially for me. The normal mild way it is served to those who want it mild is a reddish-white color. Mine came milky white. No hot spice at all. I told myself I would have a few tablespoons to taste and then take the rest home for perhaps tomorrow.

Well.....I knew it; I knew it; I knew it:

I shouldn't have done it; I shouldn't have done it; I shouldn't have done it.

One little spoonful at a time, just one more little spoonful, just one more, and then I will give it to them to wrap up. Well, it seemed that all of a sudden, there wasn't really enough left to take home. Just about 4 tablespoons left. I thought I might as well finish it.

It was delicious. We took a 20 minute slow walk after dinner to help the digestion. I was stuffed, but I felt good.

Well, this was about 9:00 last night. About 3 hours later I had a pain in my lower left side. A little knife-like, nothing to overly concern myself with, but a reminder that it looked like my pancreas was a little overwhelmed.

No problem. About 1:00 AM this morning, I started getting an icky case of heartburn (gastric fluid reflux from my stomach up through my esophagal spincter muscle and into my esophagus). My stomach acid was eating some of my esophagus. This was not a pleasant feeling. After all, I had went about 5 weeks with just water and my esophagus was feeling fine - until now.

I couldn't lie down, this would have made it worse. So I did a lot of food storage cleaning and organizing for when I will start my new cooking experience of my few thousand vegan recipes.

About 6:00 this morning, I tried to lie down. I had to slightly elevate my upper torso so that the reflux would not be encouraged by gravity to spend more time in my esophagus. I laid there for about an hour and just decided to get up and do some more work. I did a tremendous amount of work. In fact, is is now almost 11:30 at night and I have not slept any since yesterday.

About 3:00 PM this afternoon, I was feeling no more discomfort from the reflux for some time. I decided to have a couple of mangoes. They were delicious and I felt fine afterwards.

Tonight about 4 hours later, I had a fresh salad and a little tofu. Only, this time, I kept a more disciplined eye on what I was eating, ate slower, and actually started putting the leftovers away before I was finished eating. Both to put away some of the still tempting food and as a reminder that I had to say - ENOUGH. - before I had to say I CAN'T HOLD ANY MORE.

It is about three hours later and I feel fine. No inkling of what I was feeling last night. I am going to go up to the bed and sit upright for a while watching educational satellite programs and slowly unwind.

This just shows all of you who have E-Mailed me about fasting over the last year or so that I know your trials and temptations. I have experienced almost everything you either have or will experience. I am spirit, but I am a spirit in a material world. I should have had no problem using the discipline to follow the fast-breaking plan I spoke about. However, perhaps this little story of how we all have similar temptations - and how I actually did not last past 48 hours before not practicing what I preach. Perhaps this story will help you keep a more watchful eye out for the temptations that are sure to come. Remember one most important thing. Be gentle with yourself. If you do what you say you shouldn't do, talk to yourself and remind yourself of your foolishness in neglecting to just not say "NO" to whatever tempted you.. If you slip, remind yourself you knew what to do and you choose to do otherwise. The choice to overeat was mine. The choice to overeat is yours. Sometimes the subliminal forces seem to have a will of their own inside you, however, the final decision is yours. Do you struggle and use more discipline? Or do you cease the struggle and do what you know you should not do. Sometimes the mental manipulations are not as blatant. Sometimes the rationalization is very subtle. Remember, you can get to Chicago from New York walking all the way - ONE LITTLE STEP AT A TIME. Then forgive yourself and be thankful that this is a new moment, tomorrow is a new day. It is not always the number of times you stumble or get knocked down that matters, what matters is after each and every time you take the step in the wrong direction instead of the right direction - you just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and say "Okay, I shouldn't have, but I did, I choose to do it, now I choose to begin again. I will succeed". Sooner or later - YOU WILL SUCCEED!

I will stop in tomorrow and let you know what is happening. The journey of a forty days fast is still in the process. It doesn't end with the moment you say, "Okay, time to eat now".

It still has a few days left. It takes between four to six weeks for your metabolism to re-adjust to the tremendous amount of food energy it is now receiving after over 5 weeks of having nothing but what it could find and burn on its own.

I lost about 50 pounds on the fast. I am not going to put it back on. What I put on will be better than what I took off. One can gain about 18-20 pounds a year in muscle weight. Of course this in addition to fat weight. When the winter months start getting closer, your body adds a little weight as a survival mechanism for the coming cold weather. We require some weight that is not muscle.

Just as a side thought. Do you realize that 5 to 8 pounds of our weight is fecal matter that we are carrying around with us?

This fecal matter and some water weight we will put back on fairly quickly will bring us back up maybe 15 pounds over our last day fasting weight. The rest is what you eat, how much, and how patient you are for your metabolism to adjust to your non-fasting life-style.

Speak with you later..... ;-)

 

 

FOUR MONTHS LATER


It is now four months after ending my fast. Time for an update and a closing of this journal.

I went to Cape Cod for the July 4 weekend. I was having a wonderful time. Then another painful lesson occurred. After finishing the fast, I was so joyous of eating again that I neglected to drink enough water. On July 5th, I realized that I had not gone to the bathroom and passed any fecal matter since ending the fast. I also noticed that I was getting lower bowel pains. Then I realized that I had developed "impacted bowels" because of the lack of water (liquid) in my diet. I went from up to a gallon of water a day and no food to 8 ounces of water a day and food, food, food. It took me three days to get my bowels back in order. I won't go into the details here but it was a fantastic learning experience. I received first-hand knowledge of what a lot of elderly people go through with impacted bowels. The pain is REAL.

After that impacted bowel experience I kept getting stronger and stronger and feeling better and better.

Now I exercise every other day for two hours. Thirty minutes on a treadmill, 45 minutes with weights and about 45 minutes of yoga (stretching).

Most spirit-people, in their later years, experience three physical problems that they could have prepared for when they were earth-years younger.

First is circulation and cardiovascular problems. The treadmill takes care of this.

Second is digestion and elimination problems - both part of one process. Eating over 50% of a diet of uncooked and fresh fruits and vegetables takes care of this. The exercise helps this also.

Third is flexibility and limberness. The yoga (stretching) takes care of this.

I have gained back 27 pounds. I have stabilized at 165 pounds The weight I have put back on is mostly muscle weight, not fat weight

I feel as good or better than I remember feeling when my body was in its twenties. Friends and business associates say I look better than they have seen me look in years.

After being a vegetarian for over 17 years, I am a complete vegan now. No animal products of any kind. I find that I really don't miss the pizzas. I have a vegetable pizza, without cheese, and friends sometime say it tastes better than their pizza with the oily, fatty, binding cheese.

I just spent a couple of weeks in Hawaii and had no problem over-eating. I ate as much as I wanted and found plenty to eat. However, my old habits seem to be a thing of the past.

I no longer drink coffee and find I don't need nor do I miss it. I do not drink alcohol any longer. I don't really have headaches any more. I may have had two minor ones in the last four months.

In short, I feel great, I look great. I fast one to three days now when I feel like it. I will do at least a 7 to 10 day fast after the first of the year. I am really looking forward to my next long fast in the spring. However, the next long fast will not be recorded in a journal for others to see. It should be between me and God. This journal was an exception for the purpose of helping others along their fasting and spiritual journey. I hope and pray this journal has helped some of you.

I am now going to spend more time building my spiritual web site and I will be putting a lot of information on it concerning fasting, diet and health.

If there is any way I can help you, please don't hesitate to e-mail me. I will get back to you as soon as I can.

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